Trying to focus

My husband and I came to the realization last night that I have to scale back my participation on renovating the new house. This sucks. Sorry, but I'm really disappointed. I do agree with him 100%, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. I really want to help get our new home ready and be a partner in the remodel, but I will have to do it in a different way.

I've been having a couple of teenage girls watch the baby for a couple of hours every day, whenever possible, and then spending that time working at the new house. The problem is that it sometimes takes me all day to get ready to go to the house, or assemble all the materials because I am doing it with 4 little kids under foot either at home or at the new house. I have to work around the baby's nap times, when I can get the most done, but sometimes that doesn't happen until the late afternoon, which puts a real crimp in dinner plans. I still have to prepare all our meals, and my home is really suffering because I don't have the time to seriously clean it, since I'm always preparing to be gone. Basically, everything is getting partially done, but very poorly! This has caused a lot of frustration for me and for my husband, who is working all day and then putting in a few hours at the new house and is not being taken care of as well as he should be. Failing at everything is miserable.

I'm a little resentful right now, so pray for me. Not just about the house, but also about our extended family dynamics, concerning child care. I know that I shouldn't be so mad, and that the Lord has called me to a different kind of job than my husband's. My family would be best served by a mother who is home to feed everyone and keep the home in order, especially during this very chaotic process of moving and renovating. It will also give me time to pack and purge, a job unto itself. Pray that I will have the grace to be the support and not the lead on this project, and that I will find satisfaction in meeting goals of a different kind. And keep my husband in prayer - he is working long hours and mostly by himself. Safety is a top priority right now.