Today our baby is one month old. Today is also the first day I have given him a bottle, with formula in it. It was not an easy decision to come to. The last month has been wonderful, but also full of fussing and a never ending demand to feed. It has been, at times, completely overwhelming and frustrating. There were days that I literally spent 90% of my waking time with a baby attached to my chest! And that makes for a grumpy, hungry mom, especially when the baby doesnt seemed to be satisfied after all that work.
Now, as I type this, he is sleeping peacefully on the bed next to me. There has not been a time when he has slept this soundly, at least not in the last week or two. At the beginning of this nursing adventure, he had days when he would sleep for an hour or two. Recently it has only been when he is in the car seat while we are running errands. I cant believe I waited this long to give him what he wanted: more food! I really wanted to exclusively nurse this time though. The last 3 babies have all been bottle and breastfed, at the advice of my doctor who decided that they were just not gaining weight at a good rate. Then there was the suggestion that maybe my doctor was just a "formula pusher" and my milk would have been enough if I had just hung in there a little longer (not that I quit nursing when I started bottlefeeding). So this time I held out, taking all the nursing advice I could, convinced I could do it. Apparently, I cant. The determining factor was that today, at one month, our little guy is not back up to his birth weight. I am thankful that my husband helped to make this decision and has been encouraging this whole time.
It makes my chest hurt (both figuratively and literally) knowing that I just cant provide enough milk to sustain him. It shouldnt, but it does, make me feel like the littlest bit of a failure. On the other hand, I had the joy of sitting quietly with my infant, who was smiling and cooing, after taking 2 oz after nursing, and seeing the complete change in his disposition. I thought he was just an angry baby... He must have been hungry! And now he is sleeping.
I have several drafted posts from the last 6 months waiting to be published, some complete, some started and then forgotten. I will catch up someday. But let me at least say thank you for all your prayers during this pregnancy and delivery. They did not go unheard and my prayers were answered.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
New Baby
So while my newborn is sleeping, I have managed to find a few minutes to let everyone know what Im up to and where I am in my walk. If I hurry, I may even get this done in one sitting!
It has been months since the last post. I dont think that I posted it before, but I was pregnant for the majority of this year. We kept is a secret until April, at which point I was past the first trimester and into the second. As pregnancies go, this one was great. I was able to be fairly active this summer, and in the end, gained about 35 lbs. Not bad, but I started out heavier than I should have been also. But thats another subject all together....
Well, now to announce the arrival of our newest son, Liam! He is nearly 3 weeks at this posting and a lovely little baby. He cries ferociously, eats ferociously and thankfully, sleeps very well at night! Maybe we should have named him "Lion" ;)
What I really wanted to share about this pregnancy and delivery is the many ways that God has answered our prayers! It has been trying, but amazing, to see God's hand in all of this.
First off, my blood pressure, which went up and was acting erraticly after having the last baby by c-section, leveled off at perfect readings in the third trimester! When does that happen?! Usually, blood pressure gets WORSE the further into your pregnancy. So that was an answered prayer!
Second, I was able to VBAC, which is so awesome and Im so happy I didnt have to go thru another c-section. No breech baby. The recovery from that was awful and just not the way I prefer to deliver children. So second prayer answered!
Third, labor was just not progressing, so I had to have pitocin, which is not normally recommended with a VBAC, but my doctor was confident it would be fine for me under the circumstances, so he insisted we go forward. The baby came VERY quickly, and in fact, I strongly believe that they could have cut the dosage by 75% and it would have been plenty. Liam was born in under 2 hours from the first of the pitocin and I would say that I was barely having contractions before, so from 0 to 100 mph in 2 hours is FAST!!! Had he been a 10 lb baby like the last 2, we would have both been seriously hurt I believe. But praise God, he was my smallest baby yet, weighing in at only 8.6! So delivery, while fast and frenzied, was still relatively easy! What, thats 3 answered prayers? WOohoo!
On top of those MAJOR things that we had been praying about, there were other things that we were concerned about and that God took care of. We were worried that he would have the cord wrapped, just like ALL of his big brothers (thankfully, the first two it was not a problem and the third it actually prevented him from turning and resulted in the c-section) but he was NOT wrapped and in fact the doctor commented that his umbilical cord was short! Before that, we didnt get lab results back for the Strep B test and that was something that had caused a lot of digestive and diaper rash problems for our 2nd, after having antibiotics in utero, and since we never got results back, we didnt have to have any antibiotics.
There we so many ways that God revealed Himself in this pregnancy and delivery. I have struggled with wanting to honor God by submitting myself completely to him, all aspects of my life, and reproduction is certainly a big part of that. I can see that He did all this for His glory and Im awed by it. I want to be obedient in this and to me, that means accepting the possibility of having a BIG family. Im okay with that. I just hope that I can use it to minister to other people and to lovingly accept their criticism, chastisement, and generally rude comments.
I hope you will find something to glorify God for in this story. Or at the very least, to stop and look at things in your life and give thanks for the things that came to be by the way God worked.
First off, my blood pressure, which went up and was acting erraticly after having the last baby by c-section, leveled off at perfect readings in the third trimester! When does that happen?! Usually, blood pressure gets WORSE the further into your pregnancy. So that was an answered prayer!
Second, I was able to VBAC, which is so awesome and Im so happy I didnt have to go thru another c-section. No breech baby. The recovery from that was awful and just not the way I prefer to deliver children. So second prayer answered!
Third, labor was just not progressing, so I had to have pitocin, which is not normally recommended with a VBAC, but my doctor was confident it would be fine for me under the circumstances, so he insisted we go forward. The baby came VERY quickly, and in fact, I strongly believe that they could have cut the dosage by 75% and it would have been plenty. Liam was born in under 2 hours from the first of the pitocin and I would say that I was barely having contractions before, so from 0 to 100 mph in 2 hours is FAST!!! Had he been a 10 lb baby like the last 2, we would have both been seriously hurt I believe. But praise God, he was my smallest baby yet, weighing in at only 8.6! So delivery, while fast and frenzied, was still relatively easy! What, thats 3 answered prayers? WOohoo!
On top of those MAJOR things that we had been praying about, there were other things that we were concerned about and that God took care of. We were worried that he would have the cord wrapped, just like ALL of his big brothers (thankfully, the first two it was not a problem and the third it actually prevented him from turning and resulted in the c-section) but he was NOT wrapped and in fact the doctor commented that his umbilical cord was short! Before that, we didnt get lab results back for the Strep B test and that was something that had caused a lot of digestive and diaper rash problems for our 2nd, after having antibiotics in utero, and since we never got results back, we didnt have to have any antibiotics.
There we so many ways that God revealed Himself in this pregnancy and delivery. I have struggled with wanting to honor God by submitting myself completely to him, all aspects of my life, and reproduction is certainly a big part of that. I can see that He did all this for His glory and Im awed by it. I want to be obedient in this and to me, that means accepting the possibility of having a BIG family. Im okay with that. I just hope that I can use it to minister to other people and to lovingly accept their criticism, chastisement, and generally rude comments.
I hope you will find something to glorify God for in this story. Or at the very least, to stop and look at things in your life and give thanks for the things that came to be by the way God worked.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
What to do with burned brownies...?
Well make chocolate bread pudding, of course! Earlier this summer, I made my favorite brownies but substituted natural sugar for the regular white sugar. You wouldn't think there would be a difference, but boy was there ever! They just wouldn't set up! They were oily, hard and way darker than they should have been. I considered them completely inedible, not even good enough to chop up for ice cream add-ins. Then I decided that I should try to use them, not dump them, and thought that maybe they would work in a bread pudding, if I let them soak a REALLY long time in the batter before baking. And hooray, it turned out great! WARNING: This should NOT be considered a breakfast food. It is far sweeter than a regular bread pudding and SUPER chocolately. This would make a great dessert to serve to company - custardy, chocolatey and with a scoop of vanilla ice cream!
Brownie Bread Pudding
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Birch Tree Tapping
In April, I had the opportunity to take a class for teachers about teaching environmental subjects - habitat, resource preservation, environmental impact. These were all aimed at elementary kids, and when we completed the class, each of us was given a collection of curriculum for teaching these things to K-12. It was really neat. The class was centered on birch tree tapping, which I had always wanted to know how to do. Infact, most of my interest in ever visiting New England was to learn how to tap maple trees! I was thrilled to be able to learn how to use the trees in my own area, and how to get my kids involved and interested, from a scientific perspective. Explanation out of the way, here are some pictures of our first attempt at tapping birch trees!
From top to bottom: My group-mates at the class, Betsi and Kathy;
Betsi with Cal and Ed, tapping our first tree after the class! ;
Cal tasting the fresh sap;
one of our tree set ups.
I learned a lot about making syrup and tapping trees. Initially, we used my wine making supplies to collect the syrup. We now know that glass, while sterile, will heat up in even a small amount of sunlight, which makes the sap cloudy. Sap needs to be kept cool, and collected daily. Only use food grade buckets for collecting! Second, we were able to keep our taps from the class, which gave us three, and after all the cooking down, everyone ended up with a pint or so of syrup (divided four ways, collected for a week, about 3 gallons collected daily). We did find that it was a higher sap-to-syrup ratio than we had expected, partly because you cannot cook birch down to the consistency of maple or table syrup without sacrificing taste. Cooked down at just under 200 degrees F, it was pretty time consuming. We also discovered that the recommended tapping times vary greatly by area - farther north in the Matsu Valley, they tap in April, and southward in Haines, they tap in early March. We figure that for the peninsula, we should start no later than mid-march and finish mid-April. We caught the season a little late this year (and we had an especially warm spring) and so only tapped for one week.
Recently, my family used up the last of our syrup (goes pretty fast with 5 people eating pancakes!) and it was DELICIOUS! I am ready for next year, already planning how many taps, buckets and hoses to order, as well as planning a better set up for cooking it down. I am addicted! I cant wait to work this into homeschool - data collection, cooking ratio's, charts, charts, charts!
If we get a good amount of syrup, maybe I can even give some away next year :)
From top to bottom: My group-mates at the class, Betsi and Kathy;
Betsi with Cal and Ed, tapping our first tree after the class! ;
Cal tasting the fresh sap;
one of our tree set ups.
I learned a lot about making syrup and tapping trees. Initially, we used my wine making supplies to collect the syrup. We now know that glass, while sterile, will heat up in even a small amount of sunlight, which makes the sap cloudy. Sap needs to be kept cool, and collected daily. Only use food grade buckets for collecting! Second, we were able to keep our taps from the class, which gave us three, and after all the cooking down, everyone ended up with a pint or so of syrup (divided four ways, collected for a week, about 3 gallons collected daily). We did find that it was a higher sap-to-syrup ratio than we had expected, partly because you cannot cook birch down to the consistency of maple or table syrup without sacrificing taste. Cooked down at just under 200 degrees F, it was pretty time consuming. We also discovered that the recommended tapping times vary greatly by area - farther north in the Matsu Valley, they tap in April, and southward in Haines, they tap in early March. We figure that for the peninsula, we should start no later than mid-march and finish mid-April. We caught the season a little late this year (and we had an especially warm spring) and so only tapped for one week.
Recently, my family used up the last of our syrup (goes pretty fast with 5 people eating pancakes!) and it was DELICIOUS! I am ready for next year, already planning how many taps, buckets and hoses to order, as well as planning a better set up for cooking it down. I am addicted! I cant wait to work this into homeschool - data collection, cooking ratio's, charts, charts, charts!
If we get a good amount of syrup, maybe I can even give some away next year :)
Monday, July 13, 2009
"Stop being the minority!!"
So I just got an email forward, most of which I dont have time to read, but this one was titled "Who reads the Bible?" It was about a gentlemen who sent ABC an email regarding their pro-homosexuality programming and the response he recieved to his letter. Basically, the representative told this man that he should stop reading the bible or using it to direct his moral compass. He said " You are in the minority in this country" and recommended the man follow United States documents, which "clearly" say he should be more accepting of what he thinks is wrong.
Um, correct me if IM wrong, but doesnt our constitution defend the minority? Its so sad that we live in a country where it is wrong for us to discriminate those who are in a racial minority, but its okay for us to offend people's religious beliefs? Isnt that as much of who we are as our skin color? Our gender? When did it become okay to trample other people in pursuit of your own rights? It shouldnt be American, but it has become the norm. It's definitely is not biblical!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
What was that all about?
Right now I am really happy that no one really reads this blog. Mostly because I have something to get off my chest, but also because then I dont have to answer any questions or worry about stepping on somebody's feelings (I hope).
SO I posted, um, a year ago or so about a boyfriend from high school that I had just recently come back into contact with. I wasnt sure how I really felt about it, how I was going to handle the situation, etc. So I did what I thought was best and cleared it with my husband first. He said "Sure, you already know whats wrong with him, whats the harm?" I laughed, said yeah, I guess, and then just tried to be polite and friendly, since at one point, we were friends. That was good.
Then came the opportunity to witness to him! Or so I thought.... Just to be clear, I have never really shared my faith with someone. I mean, I have given advice to non believers based clearly on scripture and my relationship with Jesus, but I dont think I have ever set out to discuss my faith with someone in depth and try to share its true meaning. This was especially difficult because, apparently, he had NO idea I was a christian when we had dated! WOW. That says a lot right there, about both of us. He had some questions. He is "atheist" It seemed like this could be an interesting path that God was taking me down and I decided to try to be faithful and let the Lord lead me in how to respond to questions, even taking time when I needed it to really reflect on things before answering. Months go by, and who knows, but it kind of feels like it was just another situation of an atheist interested in proving THEIR point, not really learning. Funny how people so wrapped up in "intelligence, understanding and open mindedness" can NOT be any of those things!
After that, our conversations again became polite exchanges of what we were up to, etc. I was informed he would be coming to visit in my area, since his family still lives here, and would I be around to visit? Hmmm. Hard to answer that. I didnt think it would be, but it was! Did I really want to see this person? Could I handle the possible temptations that might surface, seeing him after so long (I know, shocking). Could I bear the humiliation of being so completely physically repulsive, even though I have no physical interest in this person and am blessed to have a caring, attentive husband who loves me head to toe? Lets be honest here: No one wants to meet an ex-significant in less than perfect circumstances. My vanity definitely holds me hostage sometimes. Beyond all that, I could not obviously expect my husband to accept this person as a friend of mine. How can I have a friend, male, that is not approved of by my husband? Where was this friendship going? Did I really expect it to flourish, given history?
In the end, I asked my husband what to do and he very simply said that he was very uncomfortable with the situation and would ask that I not meet with him. So thats what I replied. And the response I got was... hurt. I did not visit him while he was here. I was tempted, but I remained faithful, praise God.
I only regret that I may have hurt him. Even after all that I went thru with this person, I have some strange pity for him. Some distinct sympathy that I can't quite define. I think that I feel sorry that I even corresponded with him and lead him to believe we were genuine friends, and then failed to be there. And a part of me suspects that this has happened to him before. I seriously doubt that I will get any more emails, and thats okay. I will keep praying for him though. If all that passed between us was only for him to hear the gospel, or help him answer any of his questions, then its not for nothing. I said that once a long time ago. But I know better now. Nothing is an accident. There is purpose in all that has happened, good or bad. It has shaped who I am, how I have responded to God's leading, and for that I feel blessed. I will trust that the Lord will show me how to handle any future correspondence...
SO I posted, um, a year ago or so about a boyfriend from high school that I had just recently come back into contact with. I wasnt sure how I really felt about it, how I was going to handle the situation, etc. So I did what I thought was best and cleared it with my husband first. He said "Sure, you already know whats wrong with him, whats the harm?" I laughed, said yeah, I guess, and then just tried to be polite and friendly, since at one point, we were friends. That was good.
Then came the opportunity to witness to him! Or so I thought.... Just to be clear, I have never really shared my faith with someone. I mean, I have given advice to non believers based clearly on scripture and my relationship with Jesus, but I dont think I have ever set out to discuss my faith with someone in depth and try to share its true meaning. This was especially difficult because, apparently, he had NO idea I was a christian when we had dated! WOW. That says a lot right there, about both of us. He had some questions. He is "atheist" It seemed like this could be an interesting path that God was taking me down and I decided to try to be faithful and let the Lord lead me in how to respond to questions, even taking time when I needed it to really reflect on things before answering. Months go by, and who knows, but it kind of feels like it was just another situation of an atheist interested in proving THEIR point, not really learning. Funny how people so wrapped up in "intelligence, understanding and open mindedness" can NOT be any of those things!
After that, our conversations again became polite exchanges of what we were up to, etc. I was informed he would be coming to visit in my area, since his family still lives here, and would I be around to visit? Hmmm. Hard to answer that. I didnt think it would be, but it was! Did I really want to see this person? Could I handle the possible temptations that might surface, seeing him after so long (I know, shocking). Could I bear the humiliation of being so completely physically repulsive, even though I have no physical interest in this person and am blessed to have a caring, attentive husband who loves me head to toe? Lets be honest here: No one wants to meet an ex-significant in less than perfect circumstances. My vanity definitely holds me hostage sometimes. Beyond all that, I could not obviously expect my husband to accept this person as a friend of mine. How can I have a friend, male, that is not approved of by my husband? Where was this friendship going? Did I really expect it to flourish, given history?
In the end, I asked my husband what to do and he very simply said that he was very uncomfortable with the situation and would ask that I not meet with him. So thats what I replied. And the response I got was... hurt. I did not visit him while he was here. I was tempted, but I remained faithful, praise God.
I only regret that I may have hurt him. Even after all that I went thru with this person, I have some strange pity for him. Some distinct sympathy that I can't quite define. I think that I feel sorry that I even corresponded with him and lead him to believe we were genuine friends, and then failed to be there. And a part of me suspects that this has happened to him before. I seriously doubt that I will get any more emails, and thats okay. I will keep praying for him though. If all that passed between us was only for him to hear the gospel, or help him answer any of his questions, then its not for nothing. I said that once a long time ago. But I know better now. Nothing is an accident. There is purpose in all that has happened, good or bad. It has shaped who I am, how I have responded to God's leading, and for that I feel blessed. I will trust that the Lord will show me how to handle any future correspondence...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
A REAL Life
There is something to be said for tradition. " Traditiooooooon!" Okay, no fiddler on the roof here.
What I mean is, there is something to be said for Jewish tradition. Hebrew culture. More to the point, there is something special about how they lead their lives. The life and daily task of an observing jew is one that is drenched in tradition, steeped in God's word and prayer, observant of the smallest of God's laws. They cannot pass thru a doorway without remembering God and His protection and provision. They wait, expectantly, for the fulfillment of God's word. They say a blessing before every meal, before every reading of the torah. Their relationship with God is beautiful.
Most Americans are taught that Christians and Jews are followers of the same God. That we started in the same place, with the same hopes, as one people. But why are the lives of Christians lead so differently? Rather, why is the relationship between us and our God so different? It is such a struggle for us to keep God in our lives - we have our lives and we are constantly seeking to have more of Him in it. WE have the lives, and He is secondary? The way I see it, a Jews life is in HIM and the rest of their life is the filler. Im starting to think that the Christian life is backwards! It is so hard for us to keep in contact with God, to pursue that relationship, to follow His plan, when it should be so easy! We have the Messiah! We have the very deliverance that God promised to His people, yet we are the ones struggling!
Okay, so its not easy for anyone to keep that in perspective, no matter what religion you put yourself under. ALL THIS, what we call "our lives" is actually Gods! And we are blessed and fortunate to be in it. How I wish that I could make that the point of every day for me. I want more of that - serve Him, love Him, trust Him, and the rest is extra. Not the other way around. Sigh. I want my life to be IN Him, not just about me and how I relate to God. Does that make sense? I would welcome some comments and even some accountability in this. Keep praying.
What I mean is, there is something to be said for Jewish tradition. Hebrew culture. More to the point, there is something special about how they lead their lives. The life and daily task of an observing jew is one that is drenched in tradition, steeped in God's word and prayer, observant of the smallest of God's laws. They cannot pass thru a doorway without remembering God and His protection and provision. They wait, expectantly, for the fulfillment of God's word. They say a blessing before every meal, before every reading of the torah. Their relationship with God is beautiful.
Most Americans are taught that Christians and Jews are followers of the same God. That we started in the same place, with the same hopes, as one people. But why are the lives of Christians lead so differently? Rather, why is the relationship between us and our God so different? It is such a struggle for us to keep God in our lives - we have our lives and we are constantly seeking to have more of Him in it. WE have the lives, and He is secondary? The way I see it, a Jews life is in HIM and the rest of their life is the filler. Im starting to think that the Christian life is backwards! It is so hard for us to keep in contact with God, to pursue that relationship, to follow His plan, when it should be so easy! We have the Messiah! We have the very deliverance that God promised to His people, yet we are the ones struggling!
Okay, so its not easy for anyone to keep that in perspective, no matter what religion you put yourself under. ALL THIS, what we call "our lives" is actually Gods! And we are blessed and fortunate to be in it. How I wish that I could make that the point of every day for me. I want more of that - serve Him, love Him, trust Him, and the rest is extra. Not the other way around. Sigh. I want my life to be IN Him, not just about me and how I relate to God. Does that make sense? I would welcome some comments and even some accountability in this. Keep praying.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Preparing for the Passover
I have spent the last week cleaning my house top to bottom. It is the first night of Passover, and it is not exactly done. Im not Jewish, so why do I worry? I dont know. I thought that this would be a good time to do spring cleaning and to observe some of the laws and decrees set forth in the old testament by God. I am seeking to know more about why God established them and also to find the fulfillment of those traditions and customs in the fulfillment of prophecy and redemption thru Yeshua, the Messiah. I know him as my savior, but I want to know him as he was revealed before his advent. Anyway, that is some of why I tried to clean my house for Passover.
I finally finished my kitchen today. I understand now why it takes an orthodox Jewess 3 weeks to clean her home! In under a week, I have done 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, the living and dining room, and after 2 days, the kitchen. We did manage to get all the leavening out of the kitchen, which I consider a success in itself. Maybe next year we will get the other rooms done - the offices and garage. It was a good practice run.
Thru this week, one of the things that I meditated on (while cleaning) is the idea that if the Messiah appears at my door for dinner tonight, on Passover, I want my home to be ready - cleaned, welcoming, fit for a king. I dont want anything to be repulsive or detestable. I did fail in that this year, but it was something to think on. In Jewish tradition, the feast of unleavened bread (Pesach, i.e. Passover) is a time to eradicate our homes, our domains, of all leavening, which represents sin. The yeast or leavening is a symbol of pride and hidden, fermenting sin. Again, I failed to do that in all rooms in my home. I know that any one of us would be understanding if our neighbor failed to clean every room in their house to perfection, but would Yeshua? Does God tolerate sin in our hearts, even the ones we claim we cant see? I was reminded that even the corners I couldnt reach or the backs of shelves that no one would see, God sees. Yeshua would know that filth was there. I know that filth is there, and I have a responsibility to remove it. Traditionally, after the ceremony of "searching out the leaven" , a prayer would be said that asks that all leaven that was overlooked be considered null and void.
I am so grateful that I have that too! That even the sins that I dont see or cant understand or refuse to acknowledge are forgiven, covered by the blood of Messiah. Thank God that the blood of Yeshua covers all sins, if only we admit it and ask for that forgiveness.
Another drive to preparing for Passover was the idea that should we be raptured tonight, my house would be clean. HA ha ha ha! Didnt quite happen that way, and if it had, would I even care that my house is dirty? I doubt it!
Im going to continue to clean my house over the Passover, seeing as I am nearly finished :) Im looking forward to a leaven free diet for the next week. I am so excited that the celebration of the resurrection of Yeshua falls in Passover, as his death and resurrection occurred during Passover.
I pray that you all will see more of the Messiah this week, that you would feel the weight and importance of his sacrifice, the blessing and peace of his gift of salvation, and rejoice and celebrate in the occurrence of his resurrection - each a piece of the merciful, eternal grace of God we have been given.
I finally finished my kitchen today. I understand now why it takes an orthodox Jewess 3 weeks to clean her home! In under a week, I have done 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, the living and dining room, and after 2 days, the kitchen. We did manage to get all the leavening out of the kitchen, which I consider a success in itself. Maybe next year we will get the other rooms done - the offices and garage. It was a good practice run.
Thru this week, one of the things that I meditated on (while cleaning) is the idea that if the Messiah appears at my door for dinner tonight, on Passover, I want my home to be ready - cleaned, welcoming, fit for a king. I dont want anything to be repulsive or detestable. I did fail in that this year, but it was something to think on. In Jewish tradition, the feast of unleavened bread (Pesach, i.e. Passover) is a time to eradicate our homes, our domains, of all leavening, which represents sin. The yeast or leavening is a symbol of pride and hidden, fermenting sin. Again, I failed to do that in all rooms in my home. I know that any one of us would be understanding if our neighbor failed to clean every room in their house to perfection, but would Yeshua? Does God tolerate sin in our hearts, even the ones we claim we cant see? I was reminded that even the corners I couldnt reach or the backs of shelves that no one would see, God sees. Yeshua would know that filth was there. I know that filth is there, and I have a responsibility to remove it. Traditionally, after the ceremony of "searching out the leaven" , a prayer would be said that asks that all leaven that was overlooked be considered null and void.
I am so grateful that I have that too! That even the sins that I dont see or cant understand or refuse to acknowledge are forgiven, covered by the blood of Messiah. Thank God that the blood of Yeshua covers all sins, if only we admit it and ask for that forgiveness.
Another drive to preparing for Passover was the idea that should we be raptured tonight, my house would be clean. HA ha ha ha! Didnt quite happen that way, and if it had, would I even care that my house is dirty? I doubt it!
Im going to continue to clean my house over the Passover, seeing as I am nearly finished :) Im looking forward to a leaven free diet for the next week. I am so excited that the celebration of the resurrection of Yeshua falls in Passover, as his death and resurrection occurred during Passover.
I pray that you all will see more of the Messiah this week, that you would feel the weight and importance of his sacrifice, the blessing and peace of his gift of salvation, and rejoice and celebrate in the occurrence of his resurrection - each a piece of the merciful, eternal grace of God we have been given.
Will the sickness never end?!
Ahhh... I finally find a moment of relative peace to catch everyone up! For the last nearly two months, we have been sick! Okay well, thats not all we have been doing. Ill give you a quick synopses:
Brody turned 3 in February, but we didnt do much. We stayed home and opened gifts, and had carrot cake cupcakes, per his request.
In March, following the stomach bug, we had a nasty cough that lingered for weeks!
Eddie turned 7, but we were still sick, so again, not much happened.
I went to Anchorage with one of my sisters, for a girls night out and a day of shopping to celebrate my 29th birthday! :)
We cancelled the BIG birthday party we had planned with our family, for all of our kids who have birthdays in February and March, because everyone was sick! And we havent rescheduled...because we are still sick!
I signed up to coach indoor soccer for Eddie's team - and so far that is going really well...except for that game we played in practice that got one of my kids beaned in the head. I should have had better judgement :(
Eddie came down with the chicken pox! Not a terrible case of it though. And Cal had a mild stomach bug.
Okay.
That catches up the last 2 months.
One last piece of information.... Im pregnant! Yay! We finally announced that we are expecting baby number 4, due in late October, on April 2nd. We waited for what seemed like a very long time to tell everyone. We feel really blessed to be able to do this again. Keep us in your prayers!
Im glad I got this chance to catch up, it may be a while before I can get on here again... Tonight, after soccer, Brody and Eddie seem to both be dealing with another stomach bug :( I blame the cat! We have never been so sick, this often, ever. I know it is purely coincidental, but we have only had the cat for about 3 months, so its awfully suspicious!
Take care. We hope to see you eventually!
Brody turned 3 in February, but we didnt do much. We stayed home and opened gifts, and had carrot cake cupcakes, per his request.
In March, following the stomach bug, we had a nasty cough that lingered for weeks!
Eddie turned 7, but we were still sick, so again, not much happened.
I went to Anchorage with one of my sisters, for a girls night out and a day of shopping to celebrate my 29th birthday! :)
We cancelled the BIG birthday party we had planned with our family, for all of our kids who have birthdays in February and March, because everyone was sick! And we havent rescheduled...because we are still sick!
I signed up to coach indoor soccer for Eddie's team - and so far that is going really well...except for that game we played in practice that got one of my kids beaned in the head. I should have had better judgement :(
Eddie came down with the chicken pox! Not a terrible case of it though. And Cal had a mild stomach bug.
Okay.
That catches up the last 2 months.
One last piece of information.... Im pregnant! Yay! We finally announced that we are expecting baby number 4, due in late October, on April 2nd. We waited for what seemed like a very long time to tell everyone. We feel really blessed to be able to do this again. Keep us in your prayers!
Im glad I got this chance to catch up, it may be a while before I can get on here again... Tonight, after soccer, Brody and Eddie seem to both be dealing with another stomach bug :( I blame the cat! We have never been so sick, this often, ever. I know it is purely coincidental, but we have only had the cat for about 3 months, so its awfully suspicious!
Take care. We hope to see you eventually!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Tu B'Shevat: The Fruit of the Spirit
It is so hard to get going with school on Mondays sometimes! Yesterday I was reading thru the book Walk thru the Year with Y'shua, planning ahead for how we would observe the next holy day, when I noticed a holiday that I had never heard of before: Tu B'Shevat! I looked online and imagine my surprise, it was today! In Jewish tradition, it is the New Year for Trees - a time to prepare for spring and planting, and to observe how we all grow by Gods leading. In my book, which is aimed at Messianic Jews, it is a time to reflect on how we are nurtured in Gods word and how all of our lives bear fruit when we abide in Christ.
We were really blessed to be able to use this day to accomplish things around the house and complete several subjects for school while observing this holiday. We talked about how trees are alive and how they change during the seasons, what trees mean to people for food and air, and how we are branches of the vine (a tree in our lesson) of Christ. We had figs, raisens and pistachio's for a snack (all fruits!), we made a HUGE tree on our dining room wall with contact paper and then decorated it with heart shaped "fruit" (like valentines... :) ) which we wrote the names of fruits of the spirit on (Galatians 5:22). We even split my suffering aloe plant into new pots, with the hope that they would thrive and we could give them away (kind of like the fruits are meant to be shared..... are you seeing the pattern?...ha!) Does anyone know - does aloe grow in the desert in Israel? LOL
Right: Our tree with "fruits of the spirit"!While we were cutting out our heart fruits for the tree (stay tuned for the tree decorated for a myriad of holidays and occassions this coming year!), Brody, who has been very sick since Saturday evening (his fever broke early this morning, praise the Lord!) had a short burst of energy and insisted in participating. Maybe it was the promise of using scissors! Anyway, Brody wanted to cut out hearts for our fruits. I helped him trace the first one and then left him to cut it out. He was able to cut around half of it raggedly, but then began asking for help. I put my hand over his and we finished it together, a nice smooth cut.
It struck me that this is much like the help we get from the Father. Without His help, our efforts are sincere, but not nearly as perfect (or completed) as it is WITH Him. How much we need His help to grow perfect fruit! He instructs us, guides us and is the one to nurish us and the result is a fruit more perfect than we can ever accomplish on our own. I dont think we will be overlooking Tu B'Shevat again!
I pray that all our lives will be fruitful this year, that we will seek to grow in God's ways and we will abide in Christ.
Suggested reading: John 15
Right: Boys repotting aloe, Brody sleeping!
By the way, that HUGE rubber plant behind the boys needs a home... Any takers!?
Like the Children of Israel in the desert.....
I am reading a fictional book about a young Christian Jew who was taken captive after the siege of Jerusalem, not all that long after the death of Christ. The book has been powerful and talks a lot about the idols that the Romans devoted themselves too. Many changes and transitions take place in the life of this young woman, who has become a servant in a Roman household. Thru it all, she remains faithful to the Lord, even though her faith was the weakest of all survivors. What really strikes me and has as me reflecting this week, is the place of idols in the daily life of the Romans. They were everywhere! I dont think that has changed much....
I know we have talked about idols before: that an idol can be anything that you place before God or give position to above Him. We have talked about how we can make ourselves our own idols by putting our earthly lives and desires before our service and relationship with Christ also. This week, idols have been swirling around me in many forms. I wonder if it is God's leading to open my eyes to how He sees my life?
Friday, we moved the television OUT of our bedroom (where it has been since we were married) and into the living room, where we havent had a tv for over a year. I somehow felt then that we had moved some sort of shrine into the corner of the living room. Our furniture is not necessarily positioned around it, but none the less, I was reminded of the home shrines you might see in a Hindu household. It is in no less a place of prominence, being one of the first things you see when you walk into the house. I could hide it, but it would still be there (kind of like I can hide my sin, but it is still there too....)
Saturday, I heard about how some of the church practices for worshiping Christ are perfectly parallel to the rites for Dionysus, a Greek god. I didnt know how to feel about that, but while reading this book of fiction, it wasnt hard to accept that many religious practices become blended together and that we as human have to classify things to accept them, which often leads to us assuming inappropriate traditions or methods of worship. It has me thinking, anyway.
I know that there are many idols that I put before myself as a distraction or an excuse to not be in full fellowship with God. Part of it is fear to submit completely, the other part worldly deception, meant to separate me from Him and bond me to sin. I want to allow God complete reign, complete rule of my heart and also my hands and life. I pray that we are not so content/confined in our "religion" that we prevent God from shaping us to His true purpose as servants. That I will submit my will and fear of being without my "seen idols" to God and also follow His prompting in the issue of what to do with the television set. I have been aware of this battle for a long time, but somehow have skirted ever really confronting it, clinging to what I can see and afraid of Gods voice. I dont want that anymore. I want to live to serve my God, not this world and its idols.
8:30 p.m. Update: I chose to put us on a strict t.v. diet - I counted 123 children's videos in our collection! Thats a potential 123 hours (if you average them out) of tube time for my kids. Yikes! Thats proof enough for me that our television is an idol.
So most of those are being packed up, including Pixar and Disney. Im not sad at all. The only one I couldnt put away (for some reason?) was Babe. Now I will wait to see what I should do next...
I know we have talked about idols before: that an idol can be anything that you place before God or give position to above Him. We have talked about how we can make ourselves our own idols by putting our earthly lives and desires before our service and relationship with Christ also. This week, idols have been swirling around me in many forms. I wonder if it is God's leading to open my eyes to how He sees my life?
Friday, we moved the television OUT of our bedroom (where it has been since we were married) and into the living room, where we havent had a tv for over a year. I somehow felt then that we had moved some sort of shrine into the corner of the living room. Our furniture is not necessarily positioned around it, but none the less, I was reminded of the home shrines you might see in a Hindu household. It is in no less a place of prominence, being one of the first things you see when you walk into the house. I could hide it, but it would still be there (kind of like I can hide my sin, but it is still there too....)
Saturday, I heard about how some of the church practices for worshiping Christ are perfectly parallel to the rites for Dionysus, a Greek god. I didnt know how to feel about that, but while reading this book of fiction, it wasnt hard to accept that many religious practices become blended together and that we as human have to classify things to accept them, which often leads to us assuming inappropriate traditions or methods of worship. It has me thinking, anyway.
I know that there are many idols that I put before myself as a distraction or an excuse to not be in full fellowship with God. Part of it is fear to submit completely, the other part worldly deception, meant to separate me from Him and bond me to sin. I want to allow God complete reign, complete rule of my heart and also my hands and life. I pray that we are not so content/confined in our "religion" that we prevent God from shaping us to His true purpose as servants. That I will submit my will and fear of being without my "seen idols" to God and also follow His prompting in the issue of what to do with the television set. I have been aware of this battle for a long time, but somehow have skirted ever really confronting it, clinging to what I can see and afraid of Gods voice. I dont want that anymore. I want to live to serve my God, not this world and its idols.
8:30 p.m. Update: I chose to put us on a strict t.v. diet - I counted 123 children's videos in our collection! Thats a potential 123 hours (if you average them out) of tube time for my kids. Yikes! Thats proof enough for me that our television is an idol.
So most of those are being packed up, including Pixar and Disney. Im not sad at all. The only one I couldnt put away (for some reason?) was Babe. Now I will wait to see what I should do next...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Two Weeks
I am exhausted. I could sleep for 3 or 4 more hours and still not feel rested. But I wont. And I really shouldnt. Its not unusual for me to feel like this every once in a while, and it usually means my iron is low, but there is no time for sleeping-in, not with 3 children. Guess Ill be having a cheeseburger for lunch!
I ducked out of a few things on Sunday and Im feeling a little bit guilty about it. Looking back, I can say that I needed a day of doing nothing, but I also feel like I missed out on something. Isnt that how it goes? We never know what we are missing until its gone...! One of those things was a funeral for a friend who passed away suddenly. I would have liked to have been there, and missing it was not part of my plan or a way to avoid her death or anything. I heard it was a really good service and time of fellowship with her family. And I wish I had been there.
As I look back over the last 2 weeks, I have been very busy and it really is no wonder I am worn out. Here - in two weeks I have:
Started swimming lessons with the kids again, 3 afternoons a week with a 20 minute commute.
Been to the dentist to have my temporary bridge ground down, which is still causing me pain, into my ear, after 3 weeks!
Finished and turned in on time (!) 2nd quarter work samples for homeschool
Cooked a fried chicken dinner for my dad's birthday
Been to the doctor to see if I have an ear infection
Cleaned my kitchen and living room from top to bottom, kind of like spring cleaning
Put a futon mattress and a gallon of wild strawberry wine in the crawlspace
Tried to remember to go to the book study Im participating in
Adopted a cat
Somehow Im managing a toddler with cat allergies :(
Polished silver (stainless is much easier!)
Cooked a turkey and hosted a turkey dinner at my home
Went to Homer for a birthday dinner for my mother
Stayed overnight in Homer with my sister
Made 2 pairs of pants for my chef friend, and started a jacket too
This may not sound like all that much, but in my defense, I take 3 kids with me if I go anywhere and all these things are on top of homeschooling and regular chores and swimming lessons. No wonder I am tired! Today will be no different. And neither will the rest of the week. But I wont be ducking out of any more Sundays - Ive learned its my real respite from the week. I think I have really overbooked myself this month and need to slow down! I wonder what it is that I am really avoiding by taking on all these projects? Keep praying for me, please. Im not doing so well at bringing things before God and asking for permission or guidance (and then actually listening to that instruction).
See you Sunday :)
I ducked out of a few things on Sunday and Im feeling a little bit guilty about it. Looking back, I can say that I needed a day of doing nothing, but I also feel like I missed out on something. Isnt that how it goes? We never know what we are missing until its gone...! One of those things was a funeral for a friend who passed away suddenly. I would have liked to have been there, and missing it was not part of my plan or a way to avoid her death or anything. I heard it was a really good service and time of fellowship with her family. And I wish I had been there.
As I look back over the last 2 weeks, I have been very busy and it really is no wonder I am worn out. Here - in two weeks I have:
Started swimming lessons with the kids again, 3 afternoons a week with a 20 minute commute.
Been to the dentist to have my temporary bridge ground down, which is still causing me pain, into my ear, after 3 weeks!
Finished and turned in on time (!) 2nd quarter work samples for homeschool
Cooked a fried chicken dinner for my dad's birthday
Been to the doctor to see if I have an ear infection
Cleaned my kitchen and living room from top to bottom, kind of like spring cleaning
Put a futon mattress and a gallon of wild strawberry wine in the crawlspace
Tried to remember to go to the book study Im participating in
Adopted a cat
Somehow Im managing a toddler with cat allergies :(
Polished silver (stainless is much easier!)
Cooked a turkey and hosted a turkey dinner at my home
Went to Homer for a birthday dinner for my mother
Stayed overnight in Homer with my sister
Made 2 pairs of pants for my chef friend, and started a jacket too
This may not sound like all that much, but in my defense, I take 3 kids with me if I go anywhere and all these things are on top of homeschooling and regular chores and swimming lessons. No wonder I am tired! Today will be no different. And neither will the rest of the week. But I wont be ducking out of any more Sundays - Ive learned its my real respite from the week. I think I have really overbooked myself this month and need to slow down! I wonder what it is that I am really avoiding by taking on all these projects? Keep praying for me, please. Im not doing so well at bringing things before God and asking for permission or guidance (and then actually listening to that instruction).
See you Sunday :)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Holiday Review
So below are some snippets of what we have been up to over the "holiday" season. But first I want to pose this question: Its not really a holiday, is it? I found myself slightly overwhelmed (I get a little more organized and a little more laid back every year, so i am improving my coping during this time, but....) and beginning to snap at my husband! I actually looked at him and said " you have it so easy, a wife who does all the work to prepare for the holidays, and you just sit around, sleeping in!" And then it hit me: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES FOR ME EVERY DAY!!
Yeah, I had to just shut my mouth after that. He goes to work every day, breaks his back so I can stay home with the kids! And he deserves to rest during the holidays. I should, instead, be GRATEFUL that I can do all these arts and crafts, baking and gift making that I do during the holidays, that we have food for plenty of guests during that time. That my home is comfortable and WARM when its -25F outside! Thank you Lord that you are opening my eyes to what you do for us and to the real gifts of the husband you chose for me.
Anyway, here are some pictures of our holidays... Enjoy!
Yeah, I had to just shut my mouth after that. He goes to work every day, breaks his back so I can stay home with the kids! And he deserves to rest during the holidays. I should, instead, be GRATEFUL that I can do all these arts and crafts, baking and gift making that I do during the holidays, that we have food for plenty of guests during that time. That my home is comfortable and WARM when its -25F outside! Thank you Lord that you are opening my eyes to what you do for us and to the real gifts of the husband you chose for me.
Anyway, here are some pictures of our holidays... Enjoy!
From Top Left, to bottom:
The boys posing for Christmas card pictures;
Cal stirring chocolate for brownies;
Making ornaments!;
Hanging out with Uncle O;
Thanksgiving Day treats - cherry preserve pies!
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