Guiltmas, Moremas, Stuffmas?

Yay! Christmas is over! Don't get me wrong, it was wonderful, but I am so glad that it is over and we can get past the commercials and advertisements around every corner! I'm already looking toward the new year and planning my resolutions (next post?).

I did end up decorating, but wasn't finished until about 3 days before Christmas. It helped with my holiday funk I was in. I was also overruled by my husband - we ended up with a tree and stockings. It was okay and since our focus was on GIVING instead of getting, Christmas was different. The boys made gifts with me for each of their siblings and daddy. And then each made a cookie to put in stockings. I purchased some bags of peppermint sticks and stuffed satsuma oranges (a tradition in my family) into their stockings as well. Daddy even went all out and made his gift for me, a wooden shelf for my bathroom! It was a nice, peaceful holiday.

Where the guilt and excess come in is the gifts from other people! We love our family and are thankful that they want to bless our children with gifts, but it was a lot this year! One set of grandparents dropped of a pile of presents that exceeded any other Christmas before, another set sent Amazon gift cards. Combine that with the gift cards from aunts and uncles and other assorted relatives, our children were rolling in gifts and dough! So much for a modest holiday.

Now, I can choose to look at this as God blessing our children for sharing their Christmas money with those in need (we didn't tell anyone in our family about that) or I can chalk it up to generosity. Either way, it was a lot of money and stuff!

And what does a responsible parent do with these gift cards? Save it up and persuade the children to really think about what they can combine the money for, hoping they will choose to spend it on something for their bedroom or home? Encourage them to use it gradually throughout the year? No, I let them spend the Amazon gift cards on toys! Lots of toys! After all, that is what the money was intended for, wasn't it?

At about midnight last night, long after the last "order it" button had been pushed at Amazon, I started to regret my decision to indulge my children. I let them choose and shop because the gift wasn't from me, it was from someone else who wanted the kids to spend it on fun stuff. But do I have to do what is expected? I am the parent, am I not? Letting them have everything they could want cannot possibly be good for them in the long run! I was irritated enough (with my own overindulgence) that I hopped back online and almost canceled their orders.... until I realized that these were gift cards and there is not much else that can be done with them. If they had not bought toys, they would have bought something else that either I had coerced them into buying (and they would not enjoy or appreciate) or something that I would not approve of. Either way, the gift cards would be spent. I can't save them up in a bank account, the will not accrue interest, the things they purchase will always be extra because it is just that - a gift, not a necessity. A gift is meant to be extra, to be special and a luxury, right? The orders stayed.

I will insist on "Thank You" cards from each of my children to the gift giver.

My husband's suggestion for next year is to let each child choose one thing, then spend the rest on things that they may need throughout the year or discuss a big purchase to be made that will be a communal gift for them. That cash they received is going in a bank account! This situation, combined with our desire to be givers at the time of year, has given me a lot to think about when it comes to birthdays and gifts we give to our children throughout the year. I'll talk more about that in my new year post :)

Anyway, hope your Christmas was peaceful, meaning full and above all, an abundant blessing!

Merry Messiahmas!

Hanukkah has come and gone. Part of me is sad and part of me is relieved that there are no more nights with fried food and gifts! I know that we started some really good traditions this year with our "8 lights, 8 lessons" and I am excited to see what next year brings in both inspiration and learning. I'm not really sure if I am ready for Christmas now. Maybe the next 2 weeks will afford me a break and I will get my energy (vigor, zest, joy) for celebrating back!

I did end up decorating with cedar garlands and I love it, even if they didn't last all that long and now I want to replace them all. I am a little disappointed that most of my white lights needed fuses changed and so I didn't bother to haggle with them to get them up. And I did decorate our front porch a little. It sounds like my husband really wants to keep doing a Christmas tree, so this afternoon we will dig the plastic one out and decorate it. I'm glad that he is taking an interest in the holidays. That is totally not his style! I have been wavering on the tree decision for a while and its good to have him make a call on this one. I've also decided that while we don't teach our kids that Santa is real and bring them gifts, we will let them watch most holiday movies, since it is about the same as letting them watch Narnia; both are stories about imaginary characters, but our kids seem to understand that these things are not real, just fun. That has helped me ease up on the "Christmas Gestapo" role that I was falling into!

We've also come up with a plan for Christmas day. We gave our Christmas money to World Vision this year, which the children are proud of and feel good knowing that they helped so many people. They know that means no gifts on Christmas and were slightly disappointed about that, but they were being troopers and keeping a stiff upper lip about it. Then I realized that Christmas doesn't have to cost us more, it can be free. We can help others and still give to each other. I have a sewing room full of craft materials and fabric and paints - there is no reason why we can't make something!

I am really proud of the boys and their willingness to focus on giving this year. They have such big hearts, if you can get them away from video games and Star Wars for a moment! Each boy took a moment with me to peruse Design Mom's blog for inspiration. I have tons of craft books, but all are packed and these projects have all been done for a very small amount or nothing, tested by her own children and reviewed by the recipients :) Over the next couple weeks, I will spend an afternoon (while the baby is napping) with each boy, working on their gifts for their family. I'll post pictures when we are done. The only one not going along with this plan is Dad, but we will excuse him since I don't think there is an arts-&-crafts bone in his body!

What are your plans for the holiday season? Have you seen this list posted in the Anchorage Daily News? Its worth printing up and posting on the fridge to bust the winter blahs! Merry Christmas!