I love LOVE that God uses many ways to talk to us. To reach us and get us to understand. And He is so patient! He is so good to me :) I often find that He speaks to me directly, but when I wont listen or I dont talk to Him about it, He finds me at church. This is one of the ways that I know Im where I should be - that the sermon or topic applies specifically to the battle I am facing that week or month. I am so grateful for this. He has provided for every need, even before I know I need it!


I had what felt like the worst week last week. Thankfully, I had friends and sisters to let me cry out my problems and encourage me. My husband and I have had a period of bitterness in our marriage. Of being angry at our spouse and unable to reconcile it truly. Both of us were hurt and nobody wants to be the one to fix it. So it goes unsaid or unfinished and gets worse. That was were I was last week, among children, chores and everything else. Feeling alone and overwhelmed. And as I sat in my book study on Thursday, which is about being a Godly wife, of all things, I was still in that bitter place. And in a way, I was already digging my feet in, refusing to do what God was asking. Saturday, I cried my heart out before the Lord, and He said to me: Rejoice! Find joy in your husband like you find joy in me. I was so frustrated that I refused. It cant be the answer, can it? Sunday, the pastor spoke on our relationship with Christ from Ephesians 5. I have heard this passage before and I have heard before that our marriage with our spouse is a reflection of our relationship with God, but this time it was for me. Not just a symbolic reflection, but a literal reflection. Your marriage will flourish or fail according to how your relationship with Jesus is fairing. And mine? Not so hot. Yeah, I was there. And I was committed, but was I participating? Was I investing any time into my relationship with Christ? Not a whole lot. I wasnt loving Him like He loves me. And I wasnt loving my husband like Christ loves me either. One was a pretty good reflection of the other.



He asked me to love my husband. Really love him. No holding the past against him, no criticizing, no nagging. Jesus doesnt do that. He loves me whether I mess up or not. And I can love my husband that way too. I can start by how I talk to Him.

I asked God to help me put the work into my relationship with Christ. To place that desire there to really seek Him, spend time with Him, love Him. I want to know my Savior better. To fall in love again. And I want that for my earthly marriage also. My attitude is that first step.

I know that this is not going to be easy, but I know that Im not alone. I know that Im loved by the King and that He will be with me thru this, telling me how to love like He loves. I am going to be faithful and obey.

Keep praying for us!