At what point do we stop blaming everyone else for our problems? When do we actually look at ourselves as the cause, and not just the effected? Are we too self centered to see these things? Do we really believe that the actions taken against us are all in malice, or are they reactive? If we trace it all back, where does it go wrong? And who's fault is it REALLY? If we could instantly remove that belief, that we are justified in our actions, then could we possibly change the result - the reciprocated action? Would the means create a new end?
Most definitely.
This is the situation that I find myself in. Something that I have long believed to be one way, and in fact, held as such truth I would have staked my life on it, has been openly denounced as false! Painfully honest is hard to ignore. And I can completely see it as they do, which makes me ashamed at my own behavior. Im sure this is the response that the divulgence was intended to illicit, but all the same, I feel it truly.
So what do I do?
I know that the "lets just see how this goes" attitude gets along for a bit but eventually becomes lazy and reverts to the old behavior. I can only attempt to be at once different. In a sense, this means to start at the beginning. At least for this kind of thing. Old ground has to be recovered, with fresh eyes, ears and hearts. Like looking for a lost ring. If you retrace your steps, you have to be more vigillant than before, more attentive to the things you missed. It could all be uphill, but I see no other way.
Only now do I see the things the Lord has been speaking to me about this week. And Im not sure I get it all completely, but Im listening.
I realize that this is all extremely vague, but such are feelings. Pray that I will embrace this change wholeheartedly and with vigour. It could mean everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment