Saturday, November 27, 2010

The deadline

It looks like I won't be completing my notebook for the challenge. I'm a little disappointed with myself, but at least it got me drawing again. I can say it helped waken my desire to create again. Maybe I will continue working on it and magically have it done before the January 15 postal deadline. Maybe not.

*shrug* I can't say I tried all that hard. When is it ever a good time to do this kind of thing? Are my days of being able to sit down and finish a project (or start one for that matter) over? I don't seem to have time to sew, yet have a room full of fabrics and patterns and ideas in sketchbooks. I don't have time to paint, but have buckets of bottles, cups of brushes and stacks of canvas. I need to create! This is something that I long for but never seem to have time to do.

I drag my kids everywhere with me - the doctor, the store, the theater. Perhaps there will come a day when my office will be organized and I can bring my children in with me. The sketchbook will be waiting for me.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Giving

Last week, after my last post, I pulled out the World Vision Catalog that has been sitting on my desk for.. what seems like months, but is probably only 1. I reminded each child that we were not going to be celebrating Christmas like we have before. I encouraged each one to pick out gifts for another child, somewhere across the world, who goes without most everything that our family has. Some kids live in huts, some work all day for pennies. Some are orphaned or are living with sick and dying family members, maybe their mother or their little brother. My 3 oldest boys looked through the catalog for a few minutes and then they started calling out things they wanted to get for other kids. "Soccer balls so they can have fun!" "Clean water, mom. That's what I want to give" It was really moving to hear my children, who are like so many of us and think about themselves 99% of the time, choosing to give instead of have more.

Our little order form is filled out and waiting for me to glean the money from savings accounts and pay checks over the next weeks. My hope burgeoned that this year, we would be the light to someone else, showing them who Messiah is by giving instead of asking, yet again, for more. I slipped the form under my laptop, waiting for a money order or a moment to order online. I was so excited to have my children on board with refocusing our holiday!

And then the little whispers of doubt started to creep in..... Am I cheating my kids? Will they forgive me when Christmas comes without presents for them? Should I get them one thing? Should I only take the first step this year, phasing out Christmas in exchange for Hanukkah? I didn't see how I could honor God by giving to His son, and still pursue all the worldy practices of this holiday.

And then an answer to the ache in my heart, my friend shared a post from another family that has been doing the same thing, giving instead of getting, for 10 years now! I cried for quite a while after reading this post. It was a comfort and an affirmation to me.

As we approach Hanukkah, I prepare myself for some big teaching moments. I don't plan to give our children lavish gifts each day of the feast, but instead, we will have lessons centered on a theme for the day. Some days, they will receive a gift; other days, they will give a gift or perform an act of charity. Keep praying for us, that each one of us in our family will be transformed into Messiah's image during this season.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Considering coverings

I just started wearing a head covering yesterday. I've been considering it for a while, over a year now, but it took a friend of mine admitting that she was considering wearing them more often for me to decide to do it too. It's always easier to do something if you're not alone, isn't it?

My friend traveled to Israel recently for the first time, where she wore head coverings out of respect for the orthodox Jews. She looks wonderful in them! There is a part of wearing a head scarf or wrap that makes most of us "Americans" think that the woman wearing it as part of her culture or religious beliefs must be oppressed. I think we may have it wrong.

Over the past week, while considering how to go about covering my hair, I realized that wearing a head scarf has the potential to really bless us as women! I got excited about it! The first blessing comes from honoring our husbands (and other men around us); covering our hair sets that part of our physical bodies apart only for our husbands to admire, making it a treasure to him and giving him more opportunity to feel honored and to compliment us when we are alone together. What a wonderful way to tell our husbands that we prize them above all others and will reserve our physical appearance for them. By covering our hair in public, we also potentially remove part of the temptation for other men to fall into adultery! *I'm not saying that this last reason is my reason, but one that I have come to consider as a positive to wearing a head covering* Sure, wearing a head covering in our culture can draw attention as well, but what a unique way to share our faith with the world.

A second and very personal blessing comes as we set ourselves apart from what the world finds to be beautiful and instead submit our vanity and desire to be called beautiful aside. We trade the standard of the world for the standard of the Lord, leaving our superficial primping behind for hopefully something deeper. Imagine if you could leave off coloring or styling your hair for public viewing and instead plan for the evening, when you will unbraid your hair for your beloved! Which one is most rewarding?

I know that there are probably many more things to consider to the act of covering my hair, but these are the focus of my choice at the moment. I'm not sure if it will last or not, I leave that all up to my husband. He would never ask me to do something like this, but once I explained that this was for him, he admitted that he thought it was romantic and would make him feel special :)
The first day that I came home with a scarf covering my hair, he told me I looked like a cancer patient! I guess we both have some adjusting to do and I will be experimenting with tying methods that compliment me better. I have a desire to seek out the history of head coverings, since it has not been taught to us "new believers". I encourage you to do the same, if you desire. God bless!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Birthdays and more

I'm not doing very well keeping up with my sketchbook project. I am now about 2 weeks behind schedule, which makes me a little nervous. I'm hoping that I will be able to catch up during my trip to California for my grandmother's 80th birthday. If I work it right, I will have a wide variety of models to choose from and that might actually help me complete it faster. That is, if the baby cooperates during our trip.

My youngest doesn't sleep very well away from home. I'm dreading flying with him. I have no idea how he will behave. This is the only way that I could talk my husband into letting me take this trip, so I'm kinda stuck with the little guy. I am thankful that I didn't get stuck on any red eye flights, since other passengers seem to handle a fussy baby better during the day. I am also thankful that I will be staying with family members who have had kids and are now grandparents, so they know what it's like and have a good sense of humor about these things. That should come in handy when he is up all night crying! I'm thinking about trying to drug him on the flights! Okay, not really, but I could try benadryl.... I'm not that comfortable with it though. Anyone ever tried Gripe water? Think it would help on the airplane? Any homeopathic remedies to try? If you have any other suggestions, now is the time!Liam climbing up a box in the kitchen, before he could walk; Liam in the bottom of a serving cart.

In just a few weeks, the little one will be one whole year old! He is quite the little handful, but we adore him anyway :) In just a matter of 2 weeks, he has gone from taking one or two timid steps, to climbing and walking everywhere! I kid you not, this kid keeps me on my toes!
I'm looking forward to cake and cousins and all the fun that comes along with a first birthday. I'm thinking a pumpkin cake! We've done chocolate, red velvet, banana, (all for first birthdays) so I think that this will be a nice change for our little fall baby. Maybe something like this:



Of course, it wouldn't say "Preston", it would say "Liam". I'm sure that I have mentioned that we call him our lion (he's loud, he's ferocious, he thinks he's in charge...). Our nursery, that is not quite finished, will be decorated in a lion theme eventually. Anyway, first birthdays are so much fun! 80th birthdays are quite remarkable and to make it to over 100, well that's just something really special! I feel blessed to get to be present at so many special birthdays this year :) Take care!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tabernacle with me for a moment

Sukkot has come and gone. I'm a little sad and a little thankful. Sad that it is over and our time "tabernacling" together has come to an end, but soooo thankful to be home and have a day (or two) to sit in my pajamas and let the kids be vegetables!


The kids took mini courses during the week. They built a "Sukkah", a dwelling, and had class in it one day!

The Feast of Tabernacles is a time for God's people (yep, even you) to join together for one week, vacating their lives and homes, to remember God coming to tabernacle (dwell) with the children of Israel in the desert. It is also a time for us to recognize the Son coming to tabernacle with us! In both occurences, the Israelites needed to see and know God, to experience His love first hand and to get personal with Him. Its important to remember that even though the children of Israel were disobedient and complaining and difficult to discipline, God stuck with them throughout the whole 40 years! He didn't leave, He didn't walk them to the edge of the Jordan and point the way and then let them go on ahead without Him. NO, He went across FIRST! What He SAID, He was and He did!

John 1:14 says that the Word (God's spoken knowledge!) became flesh and dwelt among us. When God came as a man, Yeshua, it was again to help us see Him, love Him, hear Him, obey Him and get personal with Him. Then, being crucified, He came back, being the first to cross back from death and into life! He lead the way, and since then, His Spirit has dwelled with us, never leaving us. How awesome is that?! It is certainly worth celebrating and I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to be with other believers during this appointed festival.

Some of our collective children; Kids outside, being kids!

This past week was fun and exhausting. The children were great. I'm really impressed with how well they held up, 11-13 children on any given day, together from breakfast thru dinner. There were tears, but there was laughter in abundance. Friendships were strengthened. I hope the adults feel like they got some of that this week too. I know I did.

Despite all the blessings, I have been struggling with one thing. There is a person in my fellowship that just rubs me the wrong way constantly. I know I am called to love even those I don't like, but this has been especially trying. I am ashamed to admit how much anger I have toward this person, but I know that you will pray for me. Pray for me to have grace and exceeding patience. I have had one fairly well handled confrontation with this person and another not so well handled interaction. It's humiliating, but not in a spiritually humbling way. Its a humiliation that comes from letting a weaker opponent get your goat. One that sparks my desire to retaliate, to tear this person down. I want to put on my battle armor and march in with swords ablaze! However, I know this is not what the Lord would have me do, at least not now. This is where genuine humility comes in, knowing that my God can see the ugly things in my heart. There may come a day when I can speak against the things that have this person ensnared and doing evil, but for now I have to try to speak life and not death, even for this person. That's a hard thing for this warrior to do :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Count down - 80 pictures to the finish

I got my sketchbook in the mail on Monday. It is little but still very intimidating, with its 80 blank pages staring at me. I managed to start one drawing in it yesterday, and finished it mostly. I'm still undecided as to what medium to use. Probably pencil and colored pencil, since that's what I have on hand. If I want anything else, I will have to push my way in to my office and dig thru some boxes to find it.

Pencil it is!

As far a theme, I chose "The greatest story ever told..." I had to make a short list to help me focus. I'm a list maker, perpetually, and I have found it has helped me keep the contents of my head in order and in so many ways.

One idea was to draw my way through the bible. I really like that one, but that might be the most controversial and I'm just trying to ease my way back into this. Not to mention, I'm short on time and that is definitely going to take longer than 16 (eek!) weeks. I do plan on doing that one also, but maybe after the new year.
Another idea was to just make it a book of portraits. Each portrait is a picture of a person and what story could be greater than that of every person you know? Everyone's story is of value and interest, however short or sad or carefree.
In the end, it was a simple drawing of my infant son that helped me narrow down my topic. It will be a biographical series, chronicling the life of one person (male), birth to death. I am in a position where my models are all around me in several ages and stages already (my husband and boys) and if I average 4 or 5 drawings a week, I could be ready to mail it in January 1st. I'm going to choose to forgo words of any kind to help me capture the moment for each period. That means I won't caption the pictures or explain in words what is going on. They will just be pictures.

One picture down and....79 to go :) Hope your evening is peaceful.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Less time

Apparently I read the rules wrong. I don't have a year to complete the sketchbook, I have.... 17 weeks, if it arrives in the mail this week. Huh. That's a much shorter time, so I guess I better start brainstorming and getting a sketch bag together.

17 weeks.